topお笑い ≫ はねとびはねとび

お笑い/はねとびはねとび

2021-04-17 (土) 00:07:14 (1h)

やってまいりました。月曜日。 はねとびの日なのだ。

今日は、 ・チューリップの会 ・馬場さん ・心にゆとりを ・お料理教室 ・山之上兄弟 というメニュ〜だったのだ。

まずは

チューリップの会。

西野がいつの間にかチューリップの会に入会していた。 本人も入会した覚えがないそうな。 でもTシャツ着てた。 おいらも持ってるTシャツ。

churipchyaku.jpg

梶原「家族流行の新幹線で、僕だけ自由席だったんです。 どうすればいいでしょう・・・」

秋山代表「・・・・・・・・。がんばれ・・・!!(ガッツポーズ)」

鈴木「嫁が盗聴器を仕掛けてるみたいなんです・・・」

秋山代表「それはどこまで盗聴されてるかが問題だ・・・」とかなんとか。長かったから覚えきれんかったのだ。 でも、かかとガーーンってぶつけてた。

馬場ちゃん「宇宙人に拐われて以来、体調が悪いんです。どうしたらいいでしょうか。」

秋山代表「知らん!」

今日の秋山代表はやる気がなかったようです。 面白かったけど。 ちゃんと話が通じてるようにも思った。 いつも、わけわからん事しか言ってないけど、今日は悩みに応じた答えが返ってきてたのだ。

チューーーリップ〜!!

馬場さん

クラクションならしまくりで登場。 堤下が出てこないから、 回転灯回して、拡声器使って、 馬場ちゃん「堤下うんこまん!いるのはわかっている。出てこーーい」(堤下のとなりの住人山本が窓から顔をのぞかせる)

拡声器等はバイバス沿いのドンキーで買ったらしい。

今日は、馬場さんの緊急事態報告だったのだ。 その内容とは、 「大学受験をやろうと思う」 「金八先生を見て、受験っていいなぁって思った」と。 金八先生すげぇぜ。 馬場ちゃんが受験を考えるなんて・・・。

馬場ちゃんが壁に落書きをした。 積分の式だ。 しかも、東大の赤本を勉強してるらしい。 すげえじゃん。馬場さん!!!!!!

んで、結局堤下は拐われていったけど。

心にゆとりを

西野と伊藤ちゃんがカップル。 カフェに入り、席に着くときに鈴木の水をこぼしてしまった。 何回も謝るが、 謝ったら鈴木は、「大丈夫です」と、言うが、 すぐ、ブツブツ文句を言い出す。 「ふざけんなよ。」 「普通コップこぼすかぁーーー??」とかいろいろ。

(↑コップこぼすかぁ??!!っていう言葉は変だと思うけど。)

とうとう西野がブチ切れて、 「うるさいねんボケッ」と言って去っていった。

そりゃ切れるわぁ。 謝ってんのにブツブツ文句言われるんやもん。 なら、大丈夫って言わないで面と向かって文句言えって感じになるよなぁ。

お料理教室

秋山、塚地、馬場の3人がおばちゃん。 山本が料理教室の先生。

この前出来なかった分(おばちゃんたちのおしゃべりのせいで時間がなくなった)、こった料理を作るようだ。 メニューは「なすのそぼろあんかけ」

さっそく作ろうとする山本だが、 秋山「なすと言えばさぁ〜」と話を繰り広げる。 その話の内容は、なすには栄養が全くないということだったのだ。

馬場「なすにもちょっとは栄養あるらしいわよ」と。

秋山「そうなの?!ビックリした。」

馬場「ビックリしたで思い出した。吉田の奥さん不倫してたらしいわよ!イケ面セールスマン。」と、また、話が広がる広がる。

山本が、料理を再開。 麺つゆで味付けしてると・・・・ 秋山「麺つゆで思い出した。 そうめんが残ってて、食べろって言っても食べないから、息子の夜食に茹でて置いといたら、朝にはペロって食べしもた。(ちょっと話うる覚え)」って。

この、ペロって食べしもた!っていうのがおいらは大好きなのだ。 ペロって食べしもた!!! おもしろぃ。

塚地がスイカの漬物をつけたらしい。 それをみんなで試食。 あの食べ方!! 手の上に漬物をのっけて、ベローーーンて。 あぁ。 おばちゃんの特徴をガッチリつかんでる。 すげぇ。

結局、今日も料理教室は成立せず。

&size(22){山之上兄弟

「手品ーーにゃ。」 梶原かわいい。

今回は、ザリガニのテレポーテーションだったのだ。 梶原がやることに。 テレポーテーションと言っても、手を使わずに口で物を移動させるという事なのだ。

梶原、唇をザリガニに挟まれる!! 梶原「血出てるやろ!!」

残念ながら出てませんでした。 出てた方がお笑い的にはおいしいけどね。 でも、ザリガニに挟まれたら痛いよなぁ。

鈴木「今日、ザリガニは機嫌いいよ」

梶原「何でわかるんや?」

鈴木「ずーーーっとピースサインしてる」

鈴木おもしれーじゃん。

梶原、ザリガニのテレポーテーションに成功! こりゃすげぇ。

最後に、

ぶっちゃけは〜伊藤さおり!!!

「北陽も、笑金のようなネタ番組に出たい!!」と、事務所に言ったら、 「ダメだ!」と言われたらしい。

理由は、 「イメージダウンになるから」らしい。 はねとびで面白いことやってるからネタも面白いこと出来るように思われてるって。 で、ネタやったらイメージダウンになるらしい。

伊藤ちゃん「事務所が言うかあ????!!!!」と、怒ってたのだ。

でもどういうネタやるんだろう。 北陽って。 見てみたいけどな。 サムーーイ感じで面白いかもしれないぞ!

ということで、今回も楽しませてもらったのだ。 はねとび。

________________________________ ちょっとのぞいてみたくなったら↓

☆人気blogランキングはここから☆

投稿日: 2004-10-27 01:08:00
(この記事はBLOCKBLOGから移行したものです)

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