topお笑い ≫ 3月15日はねるのとびらメモ

お笑い/3月15日はねるのとびらメモ

2021-02-28 (日) 20:55:01 (2d)

今回のメニュー

  • 早朝の散歩〜秋山森乃進〜
  • 救命病棟23時
  • ブサンボマスター
  • 馬場さん〜風間先輩再び〜

早朝の散歩〜秋山森乃進〜

森乃進:
ちきしょうちきしょうとよぉもうよ!!!ちきしょうちきしょうとよぉもうよ!!!!
といいながら、コンビニに登場。
今日は、思うよ。が、よぉもうよ。になってたのだ。

堤下:
どうしたんですか。

森乃進:
孫にばかにされてる。
IQサプリでこんなのもできんかってばかにされた。
死んだるわほんだら。つって、じぶんで首をしめようとしてた。

悔しいとよぉもうよぉ。
一泡ふかせてやろうとよめうよめうよめうよぉぉ。

堤下:
森乃進さんがクイズを作ってお孫さんに出せばいいじゃないですか!

森乃進:
すっきりすっきり!!すっきりすっきりすっきり!!!!

森乃進さぷり!!!

これはA(手を上にあげて、Aとやる)
これはB(がんばってBを体で表現)
これはC(体を左に曲げて、Cを表現)

ではこれは?(Aのポーズをとる)

堤下:
Aでしょ。

森乃進:
なぜわかった!!??!?!?(すごくびっくりした顔で言ってたのだ)

堤下:
そんなんだから孫にばかにされるんですよ。

森乃進:
「もやっともやっともやっともやっと」つって商品のパンをを投げまくる。

堤下:
いいかげんにしてくださいよ!!
家に行って、家族に叱ってもらいましょう。
知ってますよ。3丁目の秋山さんちのおじいちゃんでしょ。

森乃進を家に連れて行こうとする。
しかし、森乃進はジュースの入れてあるケースの取っ手に杖を引っ掛けて抵抗。
ジュースケースの扉が開き、杖が手から離れる。
森乃進は、どっか、変な方向に歩き出す。
これが2回くらい繰り返される。

森乃進:
森乃進、いつものごとく、床に倒れ込む。
やば〜〜いい!!
今回はやばい。
熱っぽいのかな?
風邪気味なのかな??

堤下:
わかりましたよ。
家に行くのは勘弁してあげますよ。

森乃進:
その言葉を聞いたとたん、超元気になる。
コンビニの中を一周走って、
「ふっかつ」と宣言。
あつしのしん。すごく迷惑をかけたとよもうよもうよもうよ。

帰り際に、コンビニの壁の装飾の鳥を杖でいじってたのだ。
そして一言、

「とり」と言った。

救命病棟23時〜GOGO〜

板倉
あぶちゃん
堤下
塚地
伊藤
山本:患者
梶原:郷号進

山本のオペ。

オペを中止すべきだというみんなの提案に、

梶原: 「どうしようかな」と。
これ効くんじゃん?とかいって、なんか薬を飲んだ。
顔芸してるけど。

変な顔をしてるだけで、とてもつまらない。

ブサンボマスター

駅〜恋人がいるすべてのイケメンへ〜

西野が終電に乗り遅れる。
そして、彼女に電話をする。
さおり、
終電に乗り過ごした。あと1時間くらいかかる。ごめん。

電話を切られる。

もう一度電話がかかってきた。

西野:
もしもし?さおり?

すると、、、

登場。ブサンボマスター。

ブサンボマスター:
残念でしたお兄さん。
どうも、さおりじゃなくて、ブサンボマスターです。
「もしもし?さおり???」だって。ぶはははははははは。

2回目の電話の主は、ブサンボマスターだったのだ。何で番号知ってんだろうねぇ。

彼女を怒らせてしまったお兄さんに聴いてもらいたい曲があるんですよ。。。

そして、始まりました。いつもの歌です。
[[歌詞を知りたい人はココ>http://meglife.bblog.jp/entry/140402/]]

歌の最中に、pv風の映像がでた。
塚地と堤下のおなかが・・・。ヤバいでしょう。あれは・・・。見せるもんじゃないって。

ブサンボマスター:
ははは。
男前のくせに。

西野に電話がかかってきた。
西野:
さおり?

そして、ブサンボマスターに電話を奪われる。

ブサンボマスター:
たまにキャバクラ来たからって、おっぱい揉みまくってんなよ〜!
堤下が「キャ〜」みたいな声を出してみたり。
西野の彼女に誤解させるように仕掛けた。

そして、西野は電話を切られたのであった。

ブサンボマスター:
よ〜し。
中野のキャバクラ行こう。
と言いながら消えてったのだ。

馬場さん〜風間先輩再び〜

いつもと違う車で馬場さん登場。
ワーゲン。だよ。ワーゲン。フォルクスワーゲン。
ガッツリ壁に突っ込む。

堤下:
何やってるんですか!!
俺のマジ車じゃないですか!!!
直したばっかの車じゃないですか!!!!!

馬場さん:
俺の車車検切れてっから、おめーんち行って借りてきたんだよ。
今日はお前に大事な人が会いにきてくれてんだよ。

風間せんぱ〜い。

風間先輩:
あつし、久しぶりだな。
俺覚えてる?かざ、マイケル?
俺最近マイケルにはまってるんだよ。あれ面白いよな。

おめぇの大学祝いだ。
今年からおめーら二人、同級生だよな。

堤下:
え。二人が同級生ってことは、馬場さんもしかして、大学受かったんですか?

・・・。

もしかして・・・・。

馬場さん:
うん。
東大。
マークシートって、塗り絵みたいでおもしろいよな。

(堤下は東大には受かってないということで風間先輩に向かって)こいつまじうんこまんですよね。

風間先輩:
馬場を車の上に投げ飛ばし、車をボコボコ蹴る。

2.jpg

堤下に向かって、許してくれ。
どん、マイケル!

1.jpg

馬場さん:
何笑ってんだよてめー!!!!
写真をよく見ると、堤下が笑ってるのがわかる

風間先輩:
あつしは笑ってねー。(また車を蹴る)
あ。
話は変わるけど、東大落ちたってことは今年も浪人生だよな?

堤下:
いえ。さすがにもう浪人はできないので、
滑り止め1校受かってて、まつだ大学です。

風間先輩:
ばかやろーー!!
東大以外は大学じゃねーだろ!!!
当たり前だろう?!
あ。
あたりマイケル!?!?

馬場さん:
笑うなっていってんだろ〜!!!

風間先輩:
笑ってねーだろ!(また車を蹴る)
今日は息抜きだ。
東京のお笑いライブにつれてってやるかんな(マイケルが出るやつ)。
待ってろよ!!マイケル!!!!!!!!!

最後に、
風間先輩と馬場さんが、
「一枚、二枚、さん、マイケル!!!!」といって、車発進。

壁にバリバリぶつけてた。すげぇな。

コント終了。

堤下は、車が心配で車のところにいる。

みんなが、
「コント終わってんだからこっちこいよ!」と言う。

堤下:
確認してんだよ!!!! 事故車の確認だよ。
損傷具合をよ。

誰かが言った。
「誰が悪いの?」

堤下:
風間と馬場だよ!!!!!
ぶち切れてました。

風間:
全然知らなかった。
コントの顔のまま、すっとぼける。

堤下:
コントの顔してんじゃん。
オッケ。警察行こ。

誰かが言った
「今日ゲストに来た人を警察に連れてくのはおかしいだろ!」

風間:
記憶にない。
差し入れのお菓子をうれしそうに食べてたじゃない!娘が差し入れたクッキー。
どんな思いでお菓子を持ってきたか・・・。

俺の車だったらやらせないな。

エンディング

風間:
若い人に、風間先輩と言われるらしい。
すごい影響力。
家庭で、威厳が保てなくなると、はねとび出るらしい。
一年以上開いてほしくないなぁ。
父娘でコントのキャラをモノマネしてるらしい。

森乃進のモノマネをする風間。
「風間森乃進だとおもぅぅよぉぉぉ」

あんあまりにてなくて、家ではもっと似てるらしい。

娘は、さなえちゃんのモノマネをするらしい。

今度は、いつ出るかという話題で、

風間:
「来週開いてるけど。」
こういう話はね、冗談ですませたらあかん。

以上。
風間さん面白いなぁ。
こんなお父さんいいなぁ。
でも、昔、都合のいい女とかいうドラマでタクシーの運転手役で出てたんだよね。
浅野ゆう子と公園のトイレで・・・。
その印象が強すぎてそのイメージしか浮かばなくなってしまっている。困った。

投稿日: 2005-03-16 00:55:00
(この記事はBLOCKBLOGから移行したものです)

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Name:
URL:
コメント:

姫子さんコメントありがとうございます☆ 風間先輩、すごかったですね。 すっとぼけぶりが面白かった!

by meglife 2005-03-17 14:22:00

今回の風間先輩 衝撃的でした…(笑)

by 姫子 2005-03-17 13:09:00

過去ブログのトラックバック

  • TITLE: 堤下敦のバッティング指導
  • URL: http://www.digitalhome-yoshimoto.com/blog/archives/2005/06/post_25.html
  • BLOG NAME: 吉本興業の無料動画・おもしろムービー - インテル*ヨシモト
  • DATE: 2005-06-14 23:51:00

    インパルスの堤下さんがカラテカ矢部さんにバッティング指導してます。 ▼バットに振...

最近はねるも飽きてきてたんだけど 秋山森乃進(82)と馬場さんは結構好きなのだ 久々に風間先輩見れたしね

なんか森乃進ストラップとか出ちゃうらしいです 欲しいような欲しくないような…

今回お気に入りのひとコマ

風間イケル

芸能界では今、マイケルが熱い!(笑)

とりあえず風間杜夫の代表作は今や

スチュワーデス物語よりも、蒲田行進曲よりも

風間先輩となってしまった

親子ではねるモノマネやってるっていうから 平和な親子だねぇ〜